We pull up on an intersection and wait for a clearing. Traffics pretty steady, so we're patient. A chevy pickup trots next to us, speeds up and flys across the lane, nearly causing a pile up. The driver escapes unscathed and everyone else continues as normal. We talk about how much of a jackass the driver is. We swing on to the interstate and make our way to Tunks. At Tunks you sit on the river, drink beer and eat crawfish. I like Tunks.
As we're heading down the road, I see that chevy truck again.
"Holy shit! There's that Chevy" I say to Mandy
"Oh yeah, yeah there he is" She replies.
As we approach the truck we notice there's smoke all pouring out of the front, and that, in fact, there isn't really a front anymore.
"Oh God" we both say, trying to see what the hell had happened.
There's two more cars up the front of the road, one with it's back all shot out, and the other in the rough. People are getting out of their cars and trying to talk to chevy guy. We slowly swing around him and rubber neck. I rubber necked harder than I've ever rubber necked before. We craned through the door and saw chevy guy, knocked the fuck out, sprawled across his seat. Blood all over his neck, and not moving. Not moving. I would have taken a photo, but I'm not a fucking asshole.
I felt sick.
Mandy felt sick.
I don't know what happened to chevy guy, but I sure hope that on Friday evening, I didn't see a dead guy. I'll never know.
We made our way to Tunks and talked about chevy guy and cars. I saw long expansive fields and trees.
We got to Tunks and I saw a beautiful lake. We sat down, ordered beer and crawfish and talked more.
The crawfish arrived and Mandy showed me how to eat it. I did well. It did well. It tasted fucking awesome. We got messy hands and drank smooth wet beers. This is what people look like when they drink beer and eat crawfish:
We finished up ourselves and headed back into town. Mandy had to work for six hours and I had to drink at a bar for six hours.
I got drunk and had fun. I talked to a great old couple. They were very sweet. They had travelled a lot and knew a great deal about humanity. We talked about Religion, Politics and Boris Johnson.
I met another of Mandy's brothers. His name is Scott. Scott is going to Ireland this Summer. Scott is very exited about going to Ireland this Summer.
The next morning we woke up and said goodbye to the gay dog.
"Bye gay dog!!"
We drove to New Orleans. On the way we had gumbo. We had gas station gumbo. It tasted good, but I think gas station gumbo has claustrophobia. Gas station gumbo doesn't like being inside people. We stopped at Baton Rouge and addressed this matter respectively.
Mandy pointed to a building in Baton Rouge that our friend Sam calls "Huey Long's Penis". That made me laugh and I imagined Sam saying that.
We drove and drove. We had to get to the Garden district hotel. We didn't know where the garden district hotel was. Oh, and we had no address for it either. Over the past few days, Mandy and I have decided we are a very bad team. Our stay in New Orleans has been great, but a comedy of errors. We drove in the sun and sweated our hangovers out. We saw dead animals on the side of the road and talked about the Angola Prison rodeo. I am going to the Angola prison rodeo. It is a feast for all. It involves hardened criminals taking part in a massive rodeo. They go hell for leather and some get badly injured. They take part in order to gain tokens, tokens for cigarettes and laundry etc. Also, they take part so people like me can cheer. I look forward to the Angola Prison Rodeo.
We pulled up in New Orleans and floated through the traffic. We listened to lots of music in the car. We entered New Orleans with Gogol Bordello. Fun. The hotel made itself known very quickly and that made us happy. We struggled to park, but managed in the end. Then we entered. My card got declined. Brilliant. So we had to pay cash. $280 bucks (100 deposit) for a twin room. Brilliant. We climbed five flights of stairs and made our legs weak. We smoked in the room. We left the room. We hit the streets.
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