Needle and thread

  I've settled into Frat boy house pretty easily. I made friends with a lovely Australian guy, went for beer and corn dogs. We exchanged stories and fell back into the hostel as it got late. Before we went out though, we experienced a tragedy, the hostel's free of charge comedy night. Hosted by Jonesy. 

  Jonesy is the guy everyone wishes dead when at school. With his taught, candy coated voice chords pronouncing very high tones and his ridiculously baggy trousers.

  Jonesy is the guy who believes in himself to such an extent that he will refuse to acknowledge when to stop.

  Jonesy is a cunt.

  He was our host and MC for the entire two hour comedy bonanza, armed with his razor sharp wit and penchant for turning out high class racist jokes. Which, is always a sterling idea when performing at a bedroom for globe trotters. I won't harp on about Jonesy, just ask me when I get back to elaborate on this truly incredible person. I shall only leave with a slight taste of this guy's humour. And yes, this is word for word perfect. I have savoured it at the forefront of my mind.

Take it away, Jonesy:

  "So, fucking hell, here's one for y'all. I have a new habit, it's pretty bad guys. I love going up to women, right. Yeah I love going up to women, all cool and all and asking them: 'do you have a boyfriend?' and when they answer 'No' I just say YES! and run away"  

  

  A stony silence crashes through the ceiling, and we all surrender. "Shit, that's new, I should work on that one" Jonesy replied.

 I was in disbelief, and if any of you can please explain to me what. the. fuck. that means, I will be much obliged.